How to tell fear to do one

Life can be a pretty intimidating and daunting ride.

In our twenties, it’s unlikely we have any sense of direction, we are all pretty broke and we probably spend the majority of our free time crying 'WHY ME WHYYY' having necked about ten tequilas the night before. Ok, so the latter might just be me, but when life’s path isn’t fully laid out for us, anxiety can take over.

Where will we be in five years time? Are we ever going to pay off the debt we owe? Or find that one person who makes nothing else really matter to save us growing old with cats? (Crazy cat lady is my middle name, hi.) Yes, life can be pretty scary and there are many experiences that lie ahead that are bound to make our hearts skip a beat or stomachs turn twice over. But I’m certain that it’s the things that scare us the most, which are the most empowering once overcome.

In my opinion, if you’re not shitting yourself, you’re not experience something new.

What it means to be Sassy.

Sass; my favourite word of all time, and as predicted back in January, the word of 2015.  As Google tells us, being sassy is to be lively, bold and full of spirit. To achieve this you must dress in a way that makes you feel flawlessly confident, chuck in a pinch of ‘I don’t give a fuck’, stir in the ability to take the piss out of yourself and if you really fancy, throw in some heels for good measure. But maybe that’s just me.

So far, 2015 has probably been my favourite year of the 22 years of my life and I thought I’d share some top tips on what I’ve done to make this possible.

1. Go on lots of dates.

In the day in age of ‘Netflix and chill’, it might be depressing that very few people seem capable of initial face to face interaction, but with the likes of Tinder, at least we are provided with an unlimited sea of unsuspecting, be it mostly basic, men and women to date. Some will be horrendous to the point of hysteria and very few will be anything more than mediocre. But you know what, getting dressed up and going for a drink with somebody new is often quite empowering, and ultimately, a bit of a laugh.  

2. Dress accordingly.  

It’s basically a fact that if you feel good about your appearance, you will ooze confidence, be more efficient and productivity levels will therefore skyrocket. A slob fest is great once in a while, but you’re going to feel far from sassy in your criminal see-through leggings and Nike trainers. If you’re dressing to impress others though, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Dress in a way that makes you think, ‘Hi today, I’m going to own you.’  

3. GAF (give a fuck?)

Somebody says something that should probably bother you, but really, GAF? Obviously don’t rid of all your human compassion and empathy, that would just make you a dick, but do try to care a bit less about what other people think. If you’re not hurting anybody in the process and you’re doing what makes you happy, then you’re doing it right.

4. Be a bit weird.

Nobody likes normal.  The ability to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously is a great one. There are times to be serious, and there are times when this is just boring. Don’t be one of those people that has the same pose in every single photo; pull a face, have a laugh and of course, see above.

5. Don’t hold on to the past.

It’s inevitable in life that human relationships change and people will grow apart. Try to review the past with feelings of contentment and untainted nostalgia and don’t cling on to something that isn’t providing you with any value anymore. It’s a waste of your energy.

6. Work hard, play hard.

Put everything in to your passions and dreams. Political activism, travel, career, whatever. Don’t do it half-heartedly and commit to success. Being driven and ambitious is, in my opinion, one of the most fundamental traits to leading a fulfilled lifestyle. Remember though, work is just one element of a wider picture. Drink martinis and slut drop once in a while, I dare you.

So there we have it, a few top tips on how to grab the rest of 2015 by the balls and own it. I urge you all to stop caring so much about how other people around you perceive you and what it is that makes you happy. Being sassy doesn’t involve anybody else, it involves you committing to what you believe in.  Go get ‘em.

How to tell the January blues to do one.

So we all know the 'new year new me' hype is utter bullshit - you're still the same person you were last month, maybe just slightly porkier and with a bag full of regrets from your crazy drunkenness on New Years Eve'.

However, even if January is the shittest month known to man - we're on a comedown from the festive period, we're skint, it's raining (cry me a river) - I realised as I was walking along minding my own business that I had absolutely no reason to feel crap. I might not have any exotic holidays planned or that Burberry trench coat that I am so badly yearning for, but what I do have is just fine. That's where the difference between happiness and contentment comes in. 

Every time we're not truly happy with every single aspect of our lives, we mistake it for unhappiness. We achieve everything we've ever wanted, we obtain all material goods to satisfy, and yet our happiness lasts for about a week before we strive for the next big thing and we're not truly settled until we get it. 

I'm not being a moron, insinuating that people aren't ever unhappy, I'm simply iterating that being content with what you do have should be that which makes you smile, because sometimes, true happiness 100% of the time just isn't possible.

CONTENTMENT  Having one’s desire bound by what one has (though that may be less than one could have wished); not disturbed by the desire of anything more, or of anything different; satisfied so as not to repine.

Restless and discontent, we always have that one thing we desire and strive for. Ambition is everything, striving for material goods or temporary highs to make you happy is not. Of course, nobody should have to settle, and though the dichotomy between happiness and unhappiness is vast, it should never be either/or.  Contentment is the medium that I am quite satisfied to place myself in. Unfortunately it would be naive to expect everybody to be happy every single second of every waking day. Contentment is realising that although you might not have much to look forward to this month and you might not have the money you strive for and that one person you're after, you're content with the things you do have.

It is the long term solution that everyone needs to be reminded of once in a while; the mother, the life long friendship that you couldn't live without. Happiness is the short term burst of energy and euphoria and that which is not constant; the drunken night out or that amazing Dominoes pizza. Sure, strive for constant happiness, please do. But know that if you meditate hard on the conditions that you couldn't live without, you will find contentment right in front of you.