I
may be a day late, but really, what date this post is published is completely
irrelevant. International Women’s Day is celebrated annually on the 8th
March and is a day that sees women and men alike raise their glasses to
powerful women, be it Gloria Steinem, your own Mother, or the dinner lady, because
let’s face it, every single woman is powerful and influential in one way or
another.
I’m
always conscious to write posts like this one, but then that insinuates I am
embarrassed to be a woman with opinions and that in itself makes me angry.
However, as the writer of a blog that attempts to position itself at the heart
of sassy independence, I feel like it’s a matter that needs to be addressed.
Note that I didn’t write female independence.
Fluidity and humanity for the win.
The
issue I have is that International Women’s Day is one singular day. One
singular day that aims to bring to light contemporary issues such as domestic
violence, sex trafficking and the gender pay gap, which, to a certain extent it
inevitably does. It is however, also a
day that in turn leaves uneducated imbeciles to believe women are all ‘moan
moan moan’, because where oh where is international men’s day? Please, behave.
Oh, and International Men’s Day is November 19th, FYI.
If you know me, or are a regular reader of
my blog, you will know that I am partial to a date or two. Sadly, all of these dates are from Tinder/Happn
(cry me a river).
If you know me, you will also know that I
enjoy being single and am in no way in need of a relationship. I date because it’s
entertaining, not because I’m waiting to be whisked away by Prince Charming,
because let's face it, he went down with Cindy a long time ago.
On said dating apps, there tend to be three
categories of men, and forgive me for stereotyping, but in this instance, it’s
plain necessary:
Good looking men who are bloody
basic and have the intelligence of a pea. They will most likely also be holding
a bottle of Grey Goose and have a selfie of them bicep curling in the gym. Vom.
Men that are ‘aesthetically
challenged’ and have a bio that reads something like ‘Hi, I’m Darren! I’m 5 ft
8 I like keeping fit, going on walks and eating out lol. Message me to find out
more!’. Bless you Darren, I hope you find someone equally as lovely but it
‘aint me.
Here comes a far less trivial post than my last, but one that should resonate with every single reader. Before continuing, I would urge you to watch the short video below, (and if you want to get really really pent up, then read the comments. I can't even):
I hold my hands up and admit that I am guilty of using language associated with the male gender to throw around a whimsical insult. Phrases such as 'man up' and 'grow some balls' are thrown around willy nilly (no pun intended). Why then are we constantly assuming that men are the stronger gender? Yes, they may stereotypically have more physical strength and might be able to run faster, throw further, fight better than women, but that's exactly where the problem stems from; societal stereotypes.
Stereotypes are everywhere. Remember kids, the chocolate Yorkie bar is not suitable for girls, and if you want to buy something specifically for girls, it's most probably going to be pink. Because obviously we only like things that are pink....
I call bullshit.
When are we all going to be accepted on the same wave, as human beings, as opposed to being separated in to two very different distinct categories. Don't get me wrong, we're always going to be biologically different but acceptance of gender fluidity should be a thing. When stereotypes such as the above are still abundant in society, men and women are never going to be thought of as equal.
I would love to say that the world is doing something right as the young girls in the video above have obviously been raised to appreciate and comprehend the equality of genders, however, sadly I don't think that's the case. I think they simply haven't been tainted by the pressures of puberty, that which comes hand in hand with growing up (for boys as well may I add). Make up hasn't become a thing, sexual pressures remain absent and getting your homework in on time is the biggest of your woes. As soon as you grow boobs, for whatever reason, 'like a girl' becomes an insult.
When did it become acceptable to tell women, and men for that matter, that they need to act more like a man? Because women are fragile and men are the strong ones that we need to look up to? Hell no h20. Of course, 'woman up' and 'grow some breasts' isn't quite going to cut it, because that would just be hypocritical, but just because we have a perky (or not) pair of assets, doesn't mean we're weak and pathetic.
It's so so difficult to explain this when the connotations surrounding feminism denote passive aggressive females. Just last week I asked my male friend if he was a feminist and he laughed in my face. Another guy I asked, responded 'of course not, I'm a man!'. Sorry I'm a raging lesbian with hairy armpits.
"Like a girl" is not an insult and "Man up" is not a thing.
Last week I was taken on a date. I must emphasise, I use the word 'date' in the loosest sense of the term. Said date involved a slightly awkward tour of Primark, a visit to his friend's house (bearing in mind I had never met this guy before, let alone his pals) and, wait for it....a pint of coke in Wetherpoons. I tell no lies.
Call me old fashioned, but is this really what one should expect of a date in the 21st Century? Is Tinder and hooking up with a guy in a club the only way that women have a chance to meet new men? If so, count me out, I'll grow old with my cats.
If you take a girl out and show her that you're more than just a slime ball waiting to get in her pants, she will appreciate it and you might even get a second date. I would rhetorically ask what happened to the days when men picked up women and took them out for a romantic meal, but I've never actually been at the appropriate age to witness it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about cringey shit, but being looked after and being made feel wanted by a genuine gentleman would go a long way. Taking a girl to Primark and Spoons just isn't gonna cut it. I reckon I had better dates when I was seven years old when my crush bought me perfume from Claire's, made me a homemade card and took me to play on the swings at the park. If a seven year old boy can be more thoughtful than a twenty-three year old one, God help us all.
Chivalry is most certainly dead. I'm not saying this is men's fault. It might be a bold statement, but it's societies in general. We don't take the time to get to know one another. Heck, during freshers week everyone is your best mate and nobody would bat an eyelid if you introduced yourself to a complete stranger. Why are people not this friendly all the time? Why do people not go and say hello to that good looking person over the road?
I hold my hands up and admit that I am on Tinder, and yes, I am ashamed to say the example date stated was a result of a Tinder conversation. So in retrospect, I think, what were you expecting? I got what I had bargained for. This is the precise issue. Women have got complacent with thinking that men can get away with adhering to the bare minimum. It's normal. And it most certainly shouldn't be.
Men needn't be cautious of being gentlemen. Feminism might have scared a few of them off, but following my first proper post here, we don't mind you holding the door open for us, helping us carry our heavy luggage or taking us out for a nice dinner. What we do mind, is you thinking it's acceptable to take us to Spoons or ask us after a brief exchange of words, to 'Come mine?'. Are. You. Serious.
Women, get off your high horse and start believing that it's okay for men to look after you once in a while.