Why I've deleted all dating apps.

If you know me, or are a regular reader of my blog, you will know that I am partial to a date or two. Sadly, all of these dates are from Tinder/Happn (cry me a river).

If you know me, you will also know that I enjoy being single and am in no way in need of a relationship. I date because it’s entertaining, not because I’m waiting to be whisked away by Prince Charming, because let's face it, he went down with Cindy a long time ago.

On said dating apps, there tend to be three categories of men, and forgive me for stereotyping, but in this instance, it’s plain necessary:

1. Good looking men who are bloody basic and have the intelligence of a pea. They will most likely also be holding a bottle of Grey Goose and have a selfie of them bicep curling in the gym. Vom.
2. Men that are ‘aesthetically challenged’ and have a bio that reads something like ‘Hi, I’m Darren! I’m 5 ft 8 I like keeping fit, going on walks and eating out lol. Message me to find out more!’. Bless you Darren, I hope you find someone equally as lovely but it ‘aint me.
3. Fucking idiots.

What it means to be Sassy.

Sass; my favourite word of all time, and as predicted back in January, the word of 2015.  As Google tells us, being sassy is to be lively, bold and full of spirit. To achieve this you must dress in a way that makes you feel flawlessly confident, chuck in a pinch of ‘I don’t give a fuck’, stir in the ability to take the piss out of yourself and if you really fancy, throw in some heels for good measure. But maybe that’s just me.

So far, 2015 has probably been my favourite year of the 22 years of my life and I thought I’d share some top tips on what I’ve done to make this possible.

1. Go on lots of dates.

In the day in age of ‘Netflix and chill’, it might be depressing that very few people seem capable of initial face to face interaction, but with the likes of Tinder, at least we are provided with an unlimited sea of unsuspecting, be it mostly basic, men and women to date. Some will be horrendous to the point of hysteria and very few will be anything more than mediocre. But you know what, getting dressed up and going for a drink with somebody new is often quite empowering, and ultimately, a bit of a laugh.  

2. Dress accordingly.  

It’s basically a fact that if you feel good about your appearance, you will ooze confidence, be more efficient and productivity levels will therefore skyrocket. A slob fest is great once in a while, but you’re going to feel far from sassy in your criminal see-through leggings and Nike trainers. If you’re dressing to impress others though, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Dress in a way that makes you think, ‘Hi today, I’m going to own you.’  

3. GAF (give a fuck?)

Somebody says something that should probably bother you, but really, GAF? Obviously don’t rid of all your human compassion and empathy, that would just make you a dick, but do try to care a bit less about what other people think. If you’re not hurting anybody in the process and you’re doing what makes you happy, then you’re doing it right.

4. Be a bit weird.

Nobody likes normal.  The ability to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously is a great one. There are times to be serious, and there are times when this is just boring. Don’t be one of those people that has the same pose in every single photo; pull a face, have a laugh and of course, see above.

5. Don’t hold on to the past.

It’s inevitable in life that human relationships change and people will grow apart. Try to review the past with feelings of contentment and untainted nostalgia and don’t cling on to something that isn’t providing you with any value anymore. It’s a waste of your energy.

6. Work hard, play hard.

Put everything in to your passions and dreams. Political activism, travel, career, whatever. Don’t do it half-heartedly and commit to success. Being driven and ambitious is, in my opinion, one of the most fundamental traits to leading a fulfilled lifestyle. Remember though, work is just one element of a wider picture. Drink martinis and slut drop once in a while, I dare you.

So there we have it, a few top tips on how to grab the rest of 2015 by the balls and own it. I urge you all to stop caring so much about how other people around you perceive you and what it is that makes you happy. Being sassy doesn’t involve anybody else, it involves you committing to what you believe in.  Go get ‘em.

Bite the bullet.

Social media = various platforms that enable us to communicate with distant family, take fugly photos of ourselves to send to our best friends or make our selfies look effortlessly 'I woke up like this', all with the help of a nice little X-Pro II filter. Something pretty good for socialising then right? 

Wrong. 

Sure we all love a bit of social media - (I work for a digital social media company goddammit so without it, I'd be pretty screwed, let's be real). However, among the more trivial social media problems (you can read those here) there is a profound issue with the very fact we have become so unbelievably reliant on it, that the most basic human interactions are made more difficult. 

Take how reliant we are on Tinder for meeting people for example. Last night was the first time in a long time that I actually had a face to face conversation with a guy that approached me in a bar. Touche to you my friend. The fact I didn't get his number and then proceeded to stalk and try and find him online is completely besides the point (gimme a break, if you say you haven't done it, you're a liar), but essentially, having a nice chin wag with someone over a glass of wine (maybe it was a jagerbomb, past 12am you can never really tell) is always going to beat reading words from a phone screen. 

People have become so reliant on social media that in ways, it's actually making us more antisocial. I can count on one hand how many people I actually have regular phone conversations with, and I don't even need all five fingers. Rather than actually talking to one another, we hide behind the filters of our Facebook and Instagram profiles trying to prove to everyone around us that my night out was better than yours, my burger is bigger than yours and the view from my room is more beautiful than yours. 

I am completely guilty of all of the above, and I'm definitely not going to stop posting photos or tweets, because essentially, they act as a catalogue of our experiences to look back at with fond nostalgia, especially more so now that the app TimeHop has been created. However, I feel social media is becoming close to an obsession for many people, which in turn, has become detrimental to their abilities to communicate with new people in 'real life'.

When you're out and about with friends, family or the dog, put your phone down and look around you. When you see something inspiring, document it in a photo sure, but use it as a talking point for discussion or as a memory to appreciate in 5 years time. When you meet someone interesting, don't be afraid to continue discussion over a drink, you have nothing to lose.

Stop hiding behind your phone and the mask of social media, bite the bullet, and go and talk to that fitty across the bar. When you get married in five years time you'll probably get a great new profile pic.