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Redefining beauty; Living with acne

Today's world is more conscious and switched on to body image than ever before. Where growing up in the noughties we were taught that ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’, social media is now awash with body positive women of all shapes and sizes attempting to turn that nonsense on it’s head. Fitness bloggers and social media influencers tell us that food is healthy, that weighing scales are not and that you don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful. So in a lot of respects, media has come a long way in helping redefine societies' expectations of beauty. However, there's a big blemish shaped puzzle piece still missing. One that still carries a stigma of being unattractive and ugly. That is, acne. 

With an array of beauty bloggers out there who’s highlight is brighter than my future, we’re told that golden, glowing skin is beautiful. Anything else should be picked, removed, covered and not spoken of. Anything else is a flaw. By definition, a flaw is “an imperfection or weakness and especially one that detracts from the whole”. So while the acceptance of all body sizes and shapes is now in full swing, the very make up of our skin tone and texture welcomes scrutiny and embarrassment with open arms. 

How to be happier in your twenties

Being in your twenties is a confusing time. Shouldn’t you have your shit together by now? Shouldn’t you have your foot on the career ladder you always hoped for? Or, should you still be taking advantage of the real lack of responsibility and keep necking tequilas every Friday night? It’s an age where we’re considered adult enough to work full-time jobs and pay rent, where it’s totally acceptable to get married and have babies. Yet at the same time, amidst our so-called maturity and independence, we often find ourselves drinking ourselves into oblivion, living off super-noodles and not quite understanding what a mortgage really involves. It’s a real limbo, and not the good ‘how low can you go’ kind. 

The Dating Scene in NYC

If you're single and have been for a fairly hefty amount of time (Exhibit A right here), then you'll know the dating scene can be an unpredictable, terrifying and hilarious place all at once. And if you haven't been single for so long that you start to question yourself and everything you stand for, then I hate you (not really, but still). Dating is a battleground and a theme park all at the same time and if you even make it past the entirely average and mediocre chat of dating apps to a first date, it's a miracle in itself. Having said that, new to New York City with just a handful of friends to frolic with, I decided to get back on said dating apps, and my oh my has it been quite the treat for all the wrong reasons. 

What moving to NYC has taught me

At the beginning of June, I embarked on a new adventure and moved to New York City. One week in, I've written about my experiences, the highs and the lows, and what moving to the most thriving and sought after city in the world has taught me…

My first intro to NYC was a negative one. I was conned a silly amount of money by a taxi driver who pounced on little unassuming me at the airport, a deer in the headlights obviously lost in the big city. After charging me over three times the amount the journey should have been, said taxi driver then preceded to tell me that the people in NY are the nicest in the world. YEH OK MATE. Thankfully, despite not fitting into the category himself, the people of NY have been really bloody lovely and there's a sense of energy in the air that's almost tangible.

When life gets in the way

So it’s true, my blog has taken a backseat while I’ve been travelling and I haven’t written in far longer than is acceptable if I’m expecting my writing to be taken seriously. Shame on you, Hols. That’s not to say there aren’t tons of half-written posts stashed away on my laptop which didn’t make the cut. Half of said posts are full of exclamations like ‘WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY???’, ‘THIS ISN’T FUNNY’, ‘FGS GET IT TOGETHER’. Evidently, giving in to writers' block and turning to a glass of red is way more fulfilling. If you’re reading this, this post has finally made it further than the ones left to die on my desktop and we’ve experienced a bloody miracle. 

Why it's okay to be on your own

Whether you view 'being on your own' as another way of saying 'I'm desperately single', or if you think of it purely as a time where you're left to your own devices while your friends galavant elsewhere, being a solo warrior seems to come hand in hand with negative connotations. As if eating a meal alone is a sign of loneliness, that deciding you don't want to date means you have given up on even trying, or that sacking off plans to go out and party obviously means you're feeling down in the dumps. For some entirely bizarre reason, being on your own is often associated with isolation and negativity, when the fact of the matter is, it's entirely okay to admit that sometimes you like your own company more than anyone else's. 

There is a standard perception that people who are in healthy relationships are generally happier people than ones who aren't. Sure, we would all love hangover spoons on tap, someone to bring us a glass of wine in the bath or cook us dinner from time to time. But what if I like cuddling my cat when I'm hungover, pouring my own glass of wine or spending time cooking my own dinner? Does that make me a bitter loner? The sad thing is, I think that plenty of people would presume that to be the case, but I'm not going to apologise for liking my own company. We need to stop enforcing the idea that to be happy, we need to be in a relationship, and accept that sometimes, we just need more wine. 

Why everyone should live abroad

It's absolutely no secret that we all love holidaying. Whether it's skiing down the slopes in Val-d'Isère, necking flaming sambucas in Maga, or hiking up mountains in Bali, we all have our favourite holiday destinations. A holiday is that one or two weeks a year, maybe even more if you're a jammy bastard, where we leave all of our woes at home, wave goodbye to any stress or negativity that every day working life brought on us, and for once in our lives, sit back and think 'life is bloody wonderful'. As Brits abroad, we're in that airport terminal sipping pornstar martinis and jumping on that plane quicker than you can say 'más vino por favor'.

Granted, holidays are great. But living abroad isn't just an extended holiday. On holidays you don't have days where you're homesick and don't know the next time you're going to see your friends at home. On holidays you don't have to try and find somewhere to live entirely from scratch. On holidays you don't have to worry about the money you're spending because the fact of the matter is, you're on bloody holiday. Despite the struggles that you might face upping and leaving home behind, moving abroad and living in another country is, I think, the best thing anyone can ever do, and here's why...

Christmas in Australia: Living in the now

It’s that time of year again when it’s completely acceptable to wear knitted jumpers with singing snowmen, eat your weight in chocolate for that extra layer of chub on those cold Christmas nights, and use the abundance of Christmas parties to get utterly bladdered and it not even be questioned. What happens at the Christmas party, stays at the Christmas party. 

In the northern hemisphere, all of the above remains true, but replace the fairisle jumper with a bikini and the chocolate with an icecream, and you’ve got yourself one fine Aussie Christmas. Imagine hearing Mariah on the radio in the middle of July but crank up the temperature a few notches, throw in a Christmas tree on the beach, and you’ve got it. Truly baffling. 

For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to get into the festive spirit, forcing Christmas music and half-heartedly decorating my room thanks to my Mumma’s handmade decs. But when you’ve got a fan on 24/7 and are applying the factor 30 left right and centre, it seems somewhat forced. 

Job Interview Struggles: What I've Learnt

Having quit my job as an Account Manager at a digital marketing agency to move to Sydney unemployed, I have had my fair share of job application mares. I have, however, learnt quite a few things about myself along the way which I hope you can both laugh at, empathise with and learn from.  

I’ve handed out so many CVs, applied online to umpteen roles and here I am, four weeks later, still unemployed and getting scarily close to the bottom of my savings. I've had three interviews so far; interviews for roles, which on paper, I am totally qualified for. But interviews which I have been far from successful in and have led me to reassess a few things about myself:

US Elections 2016: A day to remember for all the wrong reasons

Today, I watched the US election unfold in real time. Thanks to the time difference between USA and Australia, I saw America vote for their new president as it happened. No sudden horror when I awoke reminiscent of the Brexit vote, no exclamations that surely this can't be right, just a constant sinking feeling that what I was witnessing was actually happening; Trump was winning the vote. 

I'm not one to pretend I know the ins and outs of politics, and I hold my hands up and admit that my knowledge of political policies is far from perfect. This isn't a political piece outlining details, more than anything this is an opinion which highlights how deeply saddened I am at the fact one of the most influential countries in the world has voted for a man that believes women are inferior, global warming is a sham, and muslims should be banned from the US. I might not know a huge amount about politics, but what I do know is a few key facts. A few facts that point to Trump being a racist, homophobic, sexist pig. 

How To Be Happy: The Next Chapter

Though it’s easy to scoff at the horribly cliché title of this blog post, I’m hoping that if my life were in book form, the next few months would prove to be the ultimate page-turner. As a literature fiend, a truly sickening book metaphor seems to be the easiest way to shout out to the world that I’m moving to Australia. Cue the dramatic ‘duh, duh, duhhhhh’.

A few months ago, I wrote a blog post that I chose not to publish. The basic tone of such post was I'm soo bored I hate my life woe is meeeee and nobody’s got time to listen to a measly excuse of a blogger waffling on about her sorrows when our lives are often hard enough to manage on their own. I was down in the dumps, unsatisfied, a grumpy grizzly, if you will. After a hefty few months of wallowing, I decided that my slightly unhinged and flat life needed a re-service. After all, do things really need to be 100% broken to warrant the need to be fixed?

In an attempt to bid farewell to the sulk, I culled everything that no longer made me happy because, let's cut to the chase here, it is completely okay to focus on your own happiness. You are allowed to travel and live where you want, spend your money on nice things or sometimes tell friends you just want a night in. To think about your own happiness doesn’t make you selfish, it encourages you to take control of your emotions. It is futile to push on believing that things will fix themselves if you just sit back and watch life pass by.

How to tell fear to do one

Life can be a pretty intimidating and daunting ride.

In our twenties, it’s unlikely we have any sense of direction, we are all pretty broke and we probably spend the majority of our free time crying 'WHY ME WHYYY' having necked about ten tequilas the night before. Ok, so the latter might just be me, but when life’s path isn’t fully laid out for us, anxiety can take over.

Where will we be in five years time? Are we ever going to pay off the debt we owe? Or find that one person who makes nothing else really matter to save us growing old with cats? (Crazy cat lady is my middle name, hi.) Yes, life can be pretty scary and there are many experiences that lie ahead that are bound to make our hearts skip a beat or stomachs turn twice over. But I’m certain that it’s the things that scare us the most, which are the most empowering once overcome.

In my opinion, if you’re not shitting yourself, you’re not experience something new.

The Importance of Being Mindful

So it’s the first day of a fresh new month. The sun is shining more than it’s raining, when we finish work at 5.30pm it’s still light outside and we are one month closer to summer. One might say we have quite a lot to be happy about. However, the reality is that no matter how bloody beautiful it is outside or how swimmingly well our lives are going, the twenty-first century human being has a habit of either dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future. The present ‘now’ doesn’t become a sincerely meaningful thing until tomorrow comes and it’s transformed into the past.

As humans, we are very very bad at appreciating the present moment. Actually, not even appreciating it but merely living it. Everything boils down to yesterday or tomorrow. But what about right now? Like, right this second? How are you feeling? The past has been and gone and you’re never going to create a time-machine, so really, the most important moments of our lives are the ones that we’re drifting straight through whilst our busy minds are set to autopilot.

Why every day should be International Women's Day.

I may be a day late, but really, what date this post is published is completely irrelevant. International Women’s Day is celebrated annually on the 8^th March and is a day that sees women and men alike raise their glasses to powerful women, be it Gloria Steinem, your own Mother, or the dinner lady, because let’s face it, every single woman is powerful and influential in one way or another.

I’m always conscious to write posts like this one, but then that insinuates I am embarrassed to be a woman with opinions and that in itself makes me angry. However, as the writer of a blog that attempts to position itself at the heart of sassy independence, I feel like it’s a matter that needs to be addressed. Note that I didn’t write female independence. Fluidity and humanity for the win.

The issue I have is that International Women’s Day is one singular day. One singular day that aims to bring to light contemporary issues such as domestic violence, sex trafficking and the gender pay gap, which, to a certain extent it  inevitably does. It is however, also a day that in turn leaves uneducated imbeciles to believe women are all ‘moan moan moan’, because where oh where is international men’s day? Please, behave. Oh, and International Men’s Day is November 19^th, FYI.

Me, myself and I

So as readers may or may not know, dependant on whether you are a personal friend/social media follower or not, I am currently on a business trip in Australia. I have been provided with a great opportunity to travel around Australia meeting with clients, old (and hopefully new), all independently.

For some, this might seem like a terrifying and intimidating experience. And for anyone that had a conversation with me prior to me departing on my Aussie adventure, you will know I was pretty much petrified. So far though, my experience has been wonderful. I’ve been on my own every day, have been eating on my own every night, and honestly, it’s been pretty nice.

What leads me to writing this post is a fairly embarrassing turn of events. If you’ve read my blog before, you will know that ‘embarrassing’ is basically my middle name. I’m a goofy, single loser who goes on plenty an awful date and am someone who uses these ‘hilarious’ stories as fuel for my blog. Winn-ing.

Why I've deleted all dating apps.

If you know me, or are a regular reader of my blog, you will know that I am partial to a date or two. Sadly, all of these dates are from Tinder/Happn (cry me a river).

If you know me, you will also know that I enjoy being single and am in no way in need of a relationship. I date because it’s entertaining, not because I’m waiting to be whisked away by Prince Charming, because let's face it, he went down with Cindy a long time ago.

On said dating apps, there tend to be three categories of men, and forgive me for stereotyping, but in this instance, it’s plain necessary:

1. Good looking men who are bloody basic and have the intelligence of a pea. They will most likely also be holding a bottle of Grey Goose and have a selfie of them bicep curling in the gym. Vom.
2. Men that are ‘aesthetically challenged’ and have a bio that reads something like ‘Hi, I’m Darren! I’m 5 ft 8 I like keeping fit, going on walks and eating out lol. Message me to find out more!’. Bless you Darren, I hope you find someone equally as lovely but it ‘aint me.
3. Fucking idiots.

What it means to be Sassy.

Sass; my favourite word of all time, and as predicted back in January, the word of 2015.  As Google tells us, being sassy is to be lively, bold and full of spirit. To achieve this you must dress in a way that makes you feel flawlessly confident, chuck in a pinch of ‘I don’t give a fuck’, stir in the ability to take the piss out of yourself and if you really fancy, throw in some heels for good measure. But maybe that’s just me.

So far, 2015 has probably been my favourite year of the 22 years of my life and I thought I’d share some top tips on what I’ve done to make this possible.

1. Go on lots of dates.

In the day in age of ‘Netflix and chill’, it might be depressing that very few people seem capable of initial face to face interaction, but with the likes of Tinder, at least we are provided with an unlimited sea of unsuspecting, be it mostly basic, men and women to date. Some will be horrendous to the point of hysteria and very few will be anything more than mediocre. But you know what, getting dressed up and going for a drink with somebody new is often quite empowering, and ultimately, a bit of a laugh.  

2. Dress accordingly.  

It’s basically a fact that if you feel good about your appearance, you will ooze confidence, be more efficient and productivity levels will therefore skyrocket. A slob fest is great once in a while, but you’re going to feel far from sassy in your criminal see-through leggings and Nike trainers. If you’re dressing to impress others though, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Dress in a way that makes you think, ‘Hi today, I’m going to own you.’  

3. GAF (give a fuck?)

Somebody says something that should probably bother you, but really, GAF? Obviously don’t rid of all your human compassion and empathy, that would just make you a dick, but do try to care a bit less about what other people think. If you’re not hurting anybody in the process and you’re doing what makes you happy, then you’re doing it right.

4. Be a bit weird.

Nobody likes normal.  The ability to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously is a great one. There are times to be serious, and there are times when this is just boring. Don’t be one of those people that has the same pose in every single photo; pull a face, have a laugh and of course, see above.

5. Don’t hold on to the past.

It’s inevitable in life that human relationships change and people will grow apart. Try to review the past with feelings of contentment and untainted nostalgia and don’t cling on to something that isn’t providing you with any value anymore. It’s a waste of your energy.

6. Work hard, play hard.

Put everything in to your passions and dreams. Political activism, travel, career, whatever. Don’t do it half-heartedly and commit to success. Being driven and ambitious is, in my opinion, one of the most fundamental traits to leading a fulfilled lifestyle. Remember though, work is just one element of a wider picture. Drink martinis and slut drop once in a while, I dare you.

So there we have it, a few top tips on how to grab the rest of 2015 by the balls and own it. I urge you all to stop caring so much about how other people around you perceive you and what it is that makes you happy. Being sassy doesn’t involve anybody else, it involves you committing to what you believe in.  Go get ‘em.

Bite the bullet.

Social media = various platforms that enable us to communicate with distant family, take fugly photos of ourselves to send to our best friends or make our selfies look effortlessly 'I woke up like this', all with the help of a nice little X-Pro II filter. Something pretty good for socialising then right? 

Wrong. 

Sure we all love a bit of social media - (I work for a digital social media company goddammit so without it, I'd be pretty screwed, let's be real). However, among the more trivial social media problems (you can read those here) there is a profound issue with the very fact we have become so unbelievably reliant on it, that the most basic human interactions are made more difficult. 

Take how reliant we are on Tinder for meeting people for example. Last night was the first time in a long time that I actually had a face to face conversation with a guy that approached me in a bar. Touche to you my friend. The fact I didn't get his number and then proceeded to stalk and try and find him online is completely besides the point (gimme a break, if you say you haven't done it, you're a liar), but essentially, having a nice chin wag with someone over a glass of wine (maybe it was a jagerbomb, past 12am you can never really tell) is always going to beat reading words from a phone screen. 

People have become so reliant on social media that in ways, it's actually making us more antisocial. I can count on one hand how many people I actually have regular phone conversations with, and I don't even need all five fingers. Rather than actually talking to one another, we hide behind the filters of our Facebook and Instagram profiles trying to prove to everyone around us that my night out was better than yours, my burger is bigger than yours and the view from my room is more beautiful than yours. 

I am completely guilty of all of the above, and I'm definitely not going to stop posting photos or tweets, because essentially, they act as a catalogue of our experiences to look back at with fond nostalgia, especially more so now that the app TimeHop has been created. However, I feel social media is becoming close to an obsession for many people, which in turn, has become detrimental to their abilities to communicate with new people in 'real life'.

When you're out and about with friends, family or the dog, put your phone down and look around you. When you see something inspiring, document it in a photo sure, but use it as a talking point for discussion or as a memory to appreciate in 5 years time. When you meet someone interesting, don't be afraid to continue discussion over a drink, you have nothing to lose.

Stop hiding behind your phone and the mask of social media, bite the bullet, and go and talk to that fitty across the bar. When you get married in five years time you'll probably get a great new profile pic.

Valentine's Day; When Only Appearances Matter

Yep, it's that time of year, the 'Hallmark Holiday' created to tell everyone that if you're single, you're a real fucking loner, and if you're in a relationship, you should probably buy some flowers and a card because otherwise you're clearly not loved up enough.

There are three options for Valentine's Day;

1. Take your other half out for dinner in a crowded, contrived restaurant where all couples are competing for the cutest couple 2k15 award.
2. Stay in with your partner where convention dictates you must set the mood. You light those candles and lay those rose petals, cupid. 
3. Or as a singleton, you have two options - stay in and feel really fucking miserable while you perceive everyone else having the loveliest time OR like me, dress up, go out with your pals and get pissed as a fart (I can't wait). 

The thing that all three of these options have in common though is that it's the appearance of everyone else around you and your knowledge of what everyone else is doing that matters. You think, oh but he's taking her here and we're sat at home. Or, I'm sat here all alone while everyone else in a relationship is getting laid and spoilt rotten. When in reality, you have absolutely no idea what is going on beneath that adorably happy relationship on the table opposite you. You have absolutely no idea the struggles anyone else is experiencing and by comparison of their appearance, you deconstruct everything that you're doing wrong in life. 

Don't let appearances trick you; if you are happy not really doing anything with your loved one to celebrate Valentine's day or if you are happy being alone, then good for you. Appearances which lead to a comparison to your own life are dangerous.

Essentially, shut everyone else out on Valentine's and appreciate what you have that makes you happy. By all means tell friends, family, partners and the family dog that you love them, but know that today is not the only day to do it. Christmas might be Santa's busiest day of the year, but come Valentine's Day, Cupid can go elsewhere because there's absolutely nothing for him to do here.